Fig. 1. One fluid oz. of SPIT™
One substance that is rarely mentioned in treatment reports is saliva. It’s remarkable enzymatic efficiency is likely as close to a universal solvent as can ever be devised. But some conservators are reluctant, and others embarrassed, to produce adequate quantities for larger projects, especially if the director of the library or museum can walk into the conservation lab at any moment. So I’m quite proud to offer this primo secretion. This is the good stuff: pure, clean, viscus, and strong. Contains an exceptionally high concentration of ptyalin; a little goes a looong way. I’ve even managed to reverse PVAc with it! An exceptional expectorate. Limited supply—even with the anticipation of a dinner at Per Se, I can only make about 2.5 oz. a day. Do not confuse SPIT™ with second rate dribble, drool or slobber.
SPIT™: $439.00/ oz.
*Mention this ad and the first 10 customers will receive a free finger nail! Great for mechanical removal of surface accretions!
Peachey Conservation 
Boy oh boy, I’ve been searching for this EVERYWHERE!
You do accept custom orders on this product, right?
Good thing you established the TM.
This made my day!
Jokes aside I’ve seen a documentary which showed treatment of an entire Picasso painting (and a huge one for what is worth) using good old fashioned spit. Saliva really is the bomb!
Awesome, Jeff. That’s pretty great. It reminds me of a post I put up last fall quoting Stavroudis’s “Solvents and Sensibility” article >
http://www.workbenchdiary.com/2011/09/no-conservator-can-live-without-spit.html
Each time I utilize this wonderful material, I have to admit that I do look over my shoulder to make sure no client is walking in the door of my studio at that moment. Just how would one go about digging themselves out of that kind of embarrassment?
Thanks.
-Joshua Klein
And a Happy April 1st to you too Jeff. Thanks for the laugh.
Ken
Now that I’ve wiped my cappuccino of my screen… Hysterical and love it. Mild enzymatic action in action. In regards to ones director a client walking in. Just tell them it is very expensive (or should be) and use your salary + fringe as the starting point…
Looking at the screen wipes though I’d like you to consider adding a toned version to your product line.
More on spit from my alma mater..
http://nursing.jhu.edu/newsevents/news/news/salivary_research#.T468U_WDnTo
p.